Kissing With Your Eyes Open

I have some close women friends who sometimes call me and ask me to analyze their relationships. Sometimes it is because I am a psychiatrist and I have the pretension of having seriously studied these things.  Sometimes I think it is more because I have been married to the same man for 25 years and I am still crazy in love with him.

Tonight it has been “why is he like that?” (unpredictable) and “I never really loved him; why is he still here?” Curiously enough, the answer to both of them is pretty much the same. If you don’t make up your mind first about what you are looking for and what you are willing to settle for, then someone else will project their wants on you.

I tell the ladies it is not like the airbrushed paintings on the front of the romance novels.  You could always manage to be whisked away.  But don’t expect the “happily ever after” unless you took the time to figure out what you want first. How do people choose what they do for a living?  Sigmund Freud, the symbolic father of all is psychiatrists, said it is a way to fulfill whatever was missing in your childhood.  Makes sense to me.  I always said that with all the craziness in my family, I had to end up being a psychiatrist. But what about people who don’t know and really have trouble deciding?  I have known those who have been disappointed by counselling received at schools or college.

Before you choose what you want to do for a living, you have to know about who you are.  It should not be what friends or counsellors or even parents say you ought to be. It is worthwhile to know what your talents are.  It is even more important to know when you are really happy?  What in the world do you love to do more than anything else? If you figure out how to do it for a living, you will be really happy. Works for me.  I am.

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