Lack Of Female Desire? Throw A Pill At It!

Rarely do I see a poll or study that lines up so perfectly with what patients tell me as this study showing that plenty of women have no interest in sex. Whatever creator you believe in, with a seemingly infinite sense of humor, has given males a sexual response that sometimes looks or sounds like little more than a simple spinal cord reflex.

Although I will admit that I am sometimes a bit surprised at what the cues are, there seems to often be something unlikely that provokes the pleasure response pretty directly. Two of the strangest – and yet most common – things men tell me that are “turn-ons” are seeing a woman’s fingers with deep red fingernail polish resting on her blue-jeans leg warmers; and watching a woman bend over to fix the sink (yes – fully clothed).

Pretty strange and not what one would usually expect from the male animal. But for women, most of the common references relate more clearly to evolutionary survival – a very reasonable criteria.  Yes, strong pectoral and gluteal muscles (the proverbial “nice chest and butt”) may sound like eye candy for the Cosmo magazine centerfold, but they make a lot of sense if you are expecting a mate to hunt and carry food home and the ability for “fight or flight” to protect the mate and offspring.

See – there are logical reasons behind checking out the tight-fitting jeans.
But arousal cues in a woman are not automatic, like male response, and must be put in the context of the “whole man.”  Wealth may be one of the biggest attractors of all, for it screams “I have enough money to keep your comfortable and do a decent job of bringing up our children.”

This can account for the absence of desire if men are out of work.  Maybe the lack of sexual desire (as well as the spark of it) in women is evolutionarily determined, too. Of course, this is the kind of inference that you can up with only after the fact. There is a tradition of ruling out “biological” reasons for any behavioral change this complex.  Here I also agree with the article. We ought to be ruling out thyroid problems and other bodily infirmities. But before that, someone needs to look at prescription drug side effects. This article cites birth control pills and antidepressants as the chief culprits, but in most of the cases I have treated, it has been antihypertensives.

But female sexual response is complex beyond description.  I once “cured” a case (at least, last I heard) of a woman whose sense of fantasy seemed to have withered from neglect long before, by simply telling her to read “The Bridges of Madison County.” It took her no more than a few nights to build her fantasy back up and have more fun.

In many people today, however, I have to recommend the movie.  Alas, the humble book and the art of reading are endangered species.

So how is our society dealing with this problem; a problem so fraught with some crazy notion of shame that it is virtually impossible for me to get a woman to talk about it?  It is impossible for me to imagine a woman complaining about it spontaneously, except on episodes of “Sex and the City.”  It seems to be the sex equivalent of the 5th amendment — where you refuse to say anything that might legally incriminate you. Why would a woman want to admit to anyone that she might not be “hot” enough to elicit that uncontrollable male spinal cord reflex that can seemingly be triggered by anything that moves?  I mean, you’ve heard men whistle and comment at the most unlikely provocation – especially if you pass near a construction site.

Like too many things in today’s society, we are making this into an illness.

And perhaps the reason is for companies like Boeringer-Ingleheim to develop remedies, such as their new product fibanserin for which they are seeking FDA approval to market. Yes, the quest for a “female Viagra” continues.  The “little blue pill” for men has been such a financial success that everybody has been jumping on the bandwagon these past few years.

Unless you are a medical doctor, you can’t begin to imagine how the pharmaceutical reps will be selling this one.  Generally, companies hire gorgeous females (many are actually former beauty pageant winners) to make presentations to the male doctors.  I’m sure they can be persuasive. I have seen many cute and wiggly female drug reps in my day, and witnessed their cheery smiles collapsing as they walk into my office and realize that I’m not a man (or interested in other women).

Instead of flirting I usually start asking technical questions and soon they are nervous and making excuses for cutting out.

Drug companies are creating a new reason to sell drugs. If big pharma can create more reasons to use their products, then it follows that they stand to make more profits. But at what cost? Many people who are medicated – or over-medicated – who shouldn’t be taking any drugs at all?

On top of this, the female half of the population is still struggling with a post-feminist development of new identities and challenges. I do not think men understand what it means to be a woman.  I have seen interest in sex changed by too many things; changes in geography or job in woman or man. Lack of time or energy. Situational things. Of course, there are also complex medical things. There are causes that can be fixed. We are talking about throwing a pill at something where a little thought can help.  Can nobody see, nor care?

I am insulted as a woman, as well as angry at the drug companies.

Maybe they will think I’m ill and develop a pill for that.